The Emergency Broadcast System in Action

So yesterday after lunch, I was reading and Sam was about to start playing Mario Kart when the Emergency Broadcast System's warning went off on the t.v.

Sam, "What is that??"
Me, "It's the Emergency Broadcast System.  It says it's a test, right?"
Sam, "No."
Me, "What does it say?"
Sam, "I don't know."
Me, "Awesome, let me get up and walk in there to read it to you, the soon-to-be 6th grader."  (I didn't say that but I did get up and walk into the other room)
Me, "Oh! It's for real."

Turns out there was a gas leak up north and they were evacuating parts of the town of Alamo.  The leak was about a mile from Tom's camp and that's the area that was being evacuated.  Oh. Shit.  I called the camp. There was no answer but I left a message.  Then, armed with minimal information,  Sam and I jumped in the car and started driving towards the evacuation zone.  This is in fact the first thing that the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) will tell you to do in the event of an emergency; get in your car and drive into the middle of the mess and bring along another child if at all possible.  Don't head away from the disaster site as the governmental announcements are advising. Also don't wait to hear back from the camp regarding emergency pick-up information.  No no no, that would be just silly.

As we were backing out of the garage, my friend Tina called.
Tina, "Are you evacuating?"
Me, "No, I'm heading up to Alamo. Tom's camp is up there and I can't get a hold of anyone."
Tina, "Well, if you check the website, our houses are in the evacuation zone."
Me, "Really? That's weird cause I know where the leak is, in fact we drove right past it this morning.  I'l let you know if I find anything out when I get up there."

I added that last part because I was sure that as officials were welcoming people into the evacuation zone there would be some type of press release being handed out as well probably over by the beer garden.  And I couldn't think of anywhere to evacuate to,  except John's office, primarily because they have vending machines.  See, I'm thinking ahead here.   (Turns out, in an effort to increase the general public's confusion, the evacuation zone was shown wrong on the website. This worked out spectacularly well.  Full marks for them.)

Then I called John, called Tina back, called John back and called my mom on both her home and cell numbers.  This is the second thing FEMA will tell you to do in the event of an emergency.  Tie up the phone lines with nonessential calls.  In fact, call 9-1-1 just for shits and grins.  They love that.

So Sam and I drove up to Alamo only to find that the freeway exits were blocked.  Something clearly  foreseeable to anyone in possession of higher brain functions.  I kept driving until I found an exit that was open then turned around and heading back through the epicenter directly behind a tanker truck hauling flammable liquids.  Bonus points for me.

Everything turned out fine.  It was swimming day at camp so there were already buses on site.  They simply loaded up the kids and had a slightly longer day at the pool than originally planned.

In my defense, I'd like to point out that at no point did I actually panic.  Instead I made a series of poor decisions in a very level-headed manner.  That's not the same thing.