Is it just me?

I really bothers me when cats walk on their back legs.  Reeeeeeally bothers me.  People are all worried about apes getting too smart and taking over the world or aliens landing but it's cats that we should worry about.

I mean look at this:

That just ain't right.  

You know what it's thinking?  I'll tell you what it's thinking. It's thinking, "As soon as I grow a thumb, I'm getting a knife."

C'mon, tell me they don't have a plan:

Comic Con Day #1

Me, "Do we have dinner reservations anywhere?"
John, "Yes, I found a place close by. It has hamburgers for $16."
Me, "I bought a water and yogurt for $14."
John, "I got 6 hot dogs and 3 waters for $45."
Me, "You win."

And my feet hurt.

Off to ComicCon!!!

Do I have everything?

Wonder Woman T-Shirt?  Check

Carry-on with newly ironed-on Wonder Woman patch?  Check

Zombie Apocalypse Bracelet?  Check

 Band-Aids?  Check

Wonder Woman and Neomorph Toddler talismans to keep the plane from crashing?  Check

Xanax so I don't care if it does?  Check

And last but not least, tickets?  CHECK!

LET'S GO!!

Game of Thrones

We have this conversation several times a year:

Sam, "Can I watch Game of Thrones?"
Me, "No."
Sam, "Why?"
Me, "Because it's incredibly inappropriate."
Sam, "When can I watch it?"
Me, "I don't know....When you're in college and paying for your own cable."
Sam, "But, it'll be over by then!"
Me, "Yes. So you won't have to wait to find out how it all ends."

Sam, <walks away in silence>
Me, "YOU'RE WELCOME"

Insult to Injury

So, let me get this straight.  The Senate Health Care vote is postponed because one senator, worth $21 million and married to a woman worth $100 million, is having surgery which, I can only assume, is fully covered by health insurance that he doesn't even need.

Happiness is....

When you walk into the bathroom and notice a whole new age spot developing on your forehead and as you're slipping into despondency, you realize it's just Nutella.

Cardinal

It's a show on Hulu.  The female lead just said the most awesome thing,

"Rule of thumb. If I ask a guy five questions before he asks one back, then he's a douche."

This should be added to all female middle school curriculum. I'm sure they could squeeze it into P.E. or science.

Wonder Woman

So we tried again.

Again, I was wearing my Wonder Woman shoes, and my Wonder Woman bracelet and carrying my Wonder Woman bag.

This time it was four of us in three different cars.  We all arrived at different times, all of us a few minutes after the start time.  Carol and I were the first to get there.  Carol got in line for water and I walked up the hall.  And Wonder Woman was showing in the same theater that we mistakenly walked into last week.

Wha?? Huh?? Is this some kind of joke? you gotta be fucking kidding me.

I stood there staring but no matter how long I stared at the sign, it still read "Wonder Woman".

Carol went in and sat down.  I went back to the lobby to wait for the others.  When Suzanne showed up, I tagged out and went into the cinema. Things seemed fine. After a few minutes Suzanne came in with Chris.

And we sat there.

Previews ran.

And we sat there.

Carol was confident but she wasn't there for the previous debacle.

The previews ended.

And we sat there.

The movie started with a intro included various Justice League figures.  I heard Suzanne whisper to Chris, "Well, this looks more promising then before."

I silently agreed.

And........Wonder Woman comes walking across the screen...modern day...wearing a totally gorgeous long red wrap or cape or something that I don't know the name of but I desperately want.

YES!

Naturally my Wonder Woman t-shirt didn't show up until the next morning.

Wonder Women?

So a couple girlfriends and I went out for dinner and a movie last week.  We were very excited to see Wonder Woman.  I'd seen it already but they hadn't. I was wearing my wonder woman shoes, my wonder woman bracelet and carrying my wonder woman bag.  I was set!

Dinner ran a little longer than we anticipated but we weren't worried because the theater was in the same complex and it was the fancy one with the recliners and assigned seats.  By the time we'd paid for the meal and finished our drinks, we scurried across the parking lot with minutes to spare.  Chris went straight to the refreshment counter for waters and Suzanne and I hurried to the bathroom.  We all got to the cinema door at the same time, like the well oiled machine that we are.  The lights were already off and the first of the movie trailers was just beginning. Perfect.

As I said, I'd already seen the movie and over dinner I told them, not as a spoiler or anything, but the movie starts during the present time and in the opening scene Gal Godot is wearing this gorgeous long red wrap or cape or something. I don't know what to call it but it was beautiful and I still think about it sometimes and I really want one.  I also want to be 6 feet tall and unbelievably gorgeous and walk with long striding steps to my swanky job at the Louver. But I'll settle for the coat.

Anyway, we're sitting there through all the previews, and jeez, they show more and more each time. Honestly there have been times I've forgotten what movie we're there for by the time all the trailers have finished. This time it seemed especially long but probably because I was so excited, Yea! Wonder Woman.  So as yet another preview is playing and holy shit it was talking forever and I hear Suzanne says something like, "I didn't know Scarlet Johannson was in this" and I'm thinking, "She's not" and I lean over to Chris and say, "This is the longest fucking preview I've every seen." and Chris says, "This isn't a preview. It's the movie."

Huh? But? Huh? and they're asking me, "Isn't this the movie?" and I'm saying "No" and it occurs to me that we just might possibly be in the wrong theater.  So being the problem solver that I am, I jump up, trot out into the hallway and sure enough the theater across the hall is showing Wonder Woman. I turn, trot back into our theater and down to our row to let them know that, "This is the wrong movie!"  And they're like "No shit, genius. Sit down."

At this point I would like to point out that not one of us was even close to being drunk enough for this to have happened. I honestly wish we had been.  Instead it was just three middle aged women so excited to be out of the house that not one of us bothered to look up to see what door we were walking through.  Once it would have been "It must have been all the body shots. WooHoo!"  Now it's more like "yeah, just distracted because well, I just really hate having to get up to pee in the middle of a movie...And my wonder woman shoes were still hurting my feet and we walked all the way across the parking lot...."

So we ended up watching Rough Night. Starring Scarlet Johannson. It was cute.

We're trying again tomorrow.  I suggested that we all dress as Wonder Woman.  That way, when we walk into the wrong theater someone will surely lean over and whisper, "You know this is Captain Underpants, don't you?"

Wish us luck!