Friday, July 19, 2013

Life's Great Mysteries #3

So I got to the gym this morning and there was a big news van parked in the lot.  Big newsie antenna on top, logos painted on every available surface, the whole bit.   I could only assume that  reporters were on the scene.  Hard questions were being asked and hard answers demanded.   And I thought, "Finally!  Finally, some in-depth news coverage on why these people can't manage to park between the white lines."  All over town people are parking squarely within the lines but as soon as they pull into this parking lot they lose all ability to park their fucking cars!  Why?

Why is parking a 5 1/2 foot wide car in a 8 foot wide space so difficult for your average gym-rat?  Is it the math?  Is there some type of dimensional rift causing the lines to shift and alter as a car is being pulled between them?   Is it some lesser known form of Roid-Rage where "you're not going to let some little white lines tell you where to park, god-damnit!"  Or are they light headed from their drop in endorphins since their last visit?  Are they all late for zumba?!?   Enquiring minds want to know!

Then I walked past the van and saw how it was parked.  Alas, the mystery continues....

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