But I totally hate it.
I have found and pinned so many fantastically amazing projects that I desperately need neeeeeed NEED to do but I can't and you know why? Because where in the hell do you find old doors? or a cast iron bathtub? Or or or what I really need is an old fashioned metal spring mattress. How am I going to make my awesomely funky flower trellis without an old fashioned metal spring mattress? I'll tell you how, I'm not! Sure grandma had a couple in her attic 35 years ago but I didn't need them when I was 11. I need them noooooow. Do all these people live in rural Iowa? Where in the hell do you find an old barn door? Who stumbles across old french solid wood fleur-de-lys appliqués. What exactly is missing in my life that is preventing me from finding a drawer full of vintage hand painted drawer pulls? I blame my relatives. Clearly they were too busy holding onto pots and pans, and sensible furniture that would last through the depression. And those creepy old sepia photographs not the iconic ones of grandpa liberating Paris. What were they thinking? Tossing out all that bric-a-brac that I could be turning into one of a kind novelty items to sell on Etsy. They probably sold all the old silver to buy food and seeds and shit. When my kids leave for college, I'm going to give them each a jar of buttons. They'll thank me later.
OH, you know what I really need? Someone to show me what to do with the horrid brass mirrored closet doors in my bedroom. Show me how to turn those fuckers into a shabby chic masterpiece that my neighbors will covet then I'll be impressed. Hell, I had to pay someone to haul off the last set.
And how in the hell do you cut the tops or bottoms off of wine bottoms without it involving a trip to the emergency room? John would come home to find me ankle deep in broken glass and bleeding from an arterial wound. Then he'd have me committed.
And I could finally get some rest...
And the gooood meds.....
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