7 questions from the spa technician **
6 quarts of sweat in Columbia
(me, "jeez, how hot is it??", john, "it's not the heat it's the humidity." me, "shut up.")
5 Tiiiiiinnnnyyyyy Speeeeeeddooooooossssss
(full body shudder....make it staaaaawp!)
4 losing games of bingo (but we won $2 on pull tabs!)
3 hours napping
2 laps around the the boat in the wrong direction (where's the fucking cabin??)
1 boy locked out of his room
** Tom and I went to the spa for a Foot Recuse!
Tom's gal, "oh, you have very nice feet."
Tom, "thanks"
My gal, "when was your last pedicure? uh, what happened here? And this is? The rough patches over here?? Did your nail tear off? Do you use any special moisturizers or oils? do you do a lot of walking?"
Me, "it's been a while....uh, not really....kinda of.....I don't usually wear socks.....yes, quite a bit of rubbing....no, not really.....not an exceptional amount of walking but when I do I always use these feet."
She could have summed up all of her questions with, "What the hell happened to your feet??"
I know I'm asking a lot of you so here's the deal; I'll replace your callus files and creams, and if you develop any carpal tunnel injuries, I'll tip accordingly. deal? deal.
I kept picturing Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones.
"Old and busted. New, hotness"
"Old and busted. New, hotness"
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