You Must Be the Pretty One

So I'm at the gym this morning, on the elliptical and the guy next to me starts loud talking (because he's that kind of guy. we'll call him DB) to another guy standing in front of him.  Soon a third joins them on another elliptical.  (Why do I have so much trouble spelling elliptical?)

Standing Man had gotten divorced and he was telling DB. 3rd guy pipes up and says something like I'm 30 and all my friends are getting married but I'm like, hey, not me. <hearts breaking wide open across the state>

DB starts talking, "Hey, look at me, I'm 56 and I just got married. I was seeing this girl for a while and she's totally loaded and one day she asks me, hey, do you want to stop working forever? and I was like sure. I've got my full pension and if you want to pay my way, sure."  I'm paraphrasing here but you get my drift.  Btw, I would loooove to hear her version on the discussion.

I'm glancing over at him occasionally. He's nothing to write home about. If you're going to pick a trophy boy then pick a trophy boy.  And it's it fascinating how douche bags thrive in captivity. It's like a reverse Darwinism; survival of the dumbest. This guy is 56; he could never be released into the wild.  Standing Man glances at me and gives me a shrug and I start laughing.  DB turns to me.

Me, "You are a keeper."
DB, "Oh yeah, I'm not leaving."
Me, "Not what I meant."

And I return to my book.  I'm almost done, and it's getting really good.  I'll finish it this morning and then later today I can watch the movie.  It's the first day back from winter break, pouring rain, there's leftover Chinese food in the fridge and the boys aren't home to half-watch the movie and repeatedly ask me what's going on. Perfect day. Bonus, Gillian Anderson is in it along with Julian Sands.  That had to have cause confusion on the set. Gillian. Julian. Julian. Gillian. And what's up with Julian Sands anyway? He was in Oxford Blues then disappeared and pops up every 6-7 years on the BBC.  Where does he go? Wasn't he rumored to be the father of Jodie Foster's kids? I'll have to google that when I get home.

Then I hear something.
DB, "words, words"
Me <is this guy talking to me?>, "huh?"
DB, "Did I get your blood boiling there?"
Me, "uh....no?"
DB, "Didn't mean to get your blood boiling. Ha Ha Ha"
Me, "oh, bless her heart."
DB, "huh?"
Me, "Seriously, are you scripted?" (Okay, I didn't say that but I was thinking it really loudly)
DB, <silence and turns back to his buddy.>

And I mean that. Bless her heart. If she hadn't stepped up to look after this guy then he would have been out there defaulting on loans, driving up insurance rates and littering.  She really took one for the team.  Bless. Her. Heart.

Although I would have picked someone younger.....