Thursday, January 16, 2014

The Zombie Wars Continue….

We broke down and bought the Dead Rising 3 Officially Strategy Guide.  I'm pretty sure the first tip will be "avoid the zombies"

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So I found out that the kid in our carpool plays Dead Rising 3.

Alex, "Can Tom and Sam come in and play Dead Rising?"
Me, "No, they have homework and tests to study for."
Boys, "ah man" <moan> <groan> <whine> <general bitching>
Alex, "Please! I was going to show them the light saber."
Me, "N…wait, you have a light saber? Where did you find that?"
Alex, "Down in the subway.  I can show you."
Me, "Well, okay but just for 20 minutes."

Three minutes later the four of us are rushing in the door and up the stairs.  I'm shouting in explanation, "Alex is going to show me where to find the blueprints for the light saber!"  And we leave Tina standing in the foyer, arms raised like "what the hell just happened?!?"

Five minutes later, "Oh my god, you can drive the roller-hawg into the subway?!?  Where's my phone? I have to text John!!"


Combo weapons are key! These are vital strategy tips, people.  Write them down!

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Nick, our hero, is clad in a blue banana hammock. (think Borat only animated)

Me, "This is really disturbing."
John, "What?"
Me, "When he bends over you can see his butt, square on, and it looks a little hairy.  That's way too much detail."
Then Sam walks in, "What are you guys looking for now?"
Me, "Pants"

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Nick  is clad in a flowery spaghetti strapped sundress and red go-go boots.

After one grueling round, John paused the game and said, "You know, I think your best advice to me was 'Stop getting shot'."

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Nick is currently running around in a haz-mat suit.

Me, "Okay, I read how to defeat Red…"
John, "No, no, I've got a strategy."  words, words, words "And then I let him stab me…" more words
Me, "I'm not sure I can get behind a strategy that includes, 'then I let him stab me'"
John, "Trust me, it'll work."

A few minutes later Sam walks in to watch.  After a while he says,"The knife-stabbing thing is unfortunate."

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On the drive home from school,
Alex, "I can't believe you're so into Dead Rising 3."
Tom, "Because she's a girl?"
Alex, "No."
Me, "Is it because I'm OLD?!"
Alex, "Umm, I don't know how to answer that…"
Me, "Do you want to walk?"

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Nick is now wearing a has-mat helmet, leather jacket, boxing shorts and fireman boots.

John, "Put down your knitting and help me!!!"

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The XBox 1 has various voice commands.  I guess to feel more star trek-y.  During the Psycho Battles, it will prompt you to yell "You're Crazy" at the bad guy and then (in theory) he gets rilled up and acts erratically.  But the more times you yell "You're Crazy" at the T.V., the sillier you feel and the words start to sound funny.  Not to mention it's way too much like a PTA meeting so I've stopped participating.

Shutting down the system is voice activated too.

John, "XBox go home."
John, "XBox turn off."
Me, "XBox paint the hall."




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