Outlander Finale Party

So I've been collecting all these old whiskey bottles.  I was planning on making them into wine bottle lights; you know, where you drill a hole down at the base and put christmas lights inside? I had four or five of various shapes and sizes, and a couple of Aberlour which is my new favorite whiskey.  The Aberlour bottles are really nice. Kinda shaped like apothecary bottles and really solid, and I couldn't bring myself to recycle any of these because they're really nice bottles.  There must be something else I could do with them and then it hit me. I could fill them with candy and give them to the gals that were coming over for my Outlander Finale party.  Oh, I could tie tartan ribbons around them too.  How festive would that be?

So in addition to the several assorted whiskey bottles in the garage, I had four Aberlour bottles in the kitchen filled with assorted candies and I just needed two more. A few days before the party, John and I were at the grocery store,
Me, "Oh, I need two more bottles of Aberlour."
John, "Ok"
Me, "Waaaaiitt, they don't usually cost that much."
John, "Yeah, they do."
Me, "No way, they were cheaper than that."
As I started thinking that I'd single-handedly created a spike in Aberlour pricing when John said, "Why don't you just buy something else. Or use two from the garage?"
Me, "I can't. I've already got four Aberlour bottles and I can't have four of the same bottles and two different ones, different meaning they don't match the Aberlour or different meaning they don't match each other or the Aberlour either way won't work.  They either need to be all the same or all different and the four at home are already filled with candy so if I switch to all different then I may need more candy and I found the candy in several different stores and I still need to get candy to fill the last two and finding candy that fits in a whiskey bottle is not as easy as you think and I want all the candy to be different..."
By now I've got the heels of my hands pressed against my eyes.
Me, "It's hurts to be in my head..."
John, "Stop. Just get the Aberlour and let's go.
So we left before I started dripping more crazy on the floor.  "Clean up, Aisle 10"

Now on to the ribbon.  That should be easy, right?  Nope. No, tartan ribbon in a 10 mile radius and I ended up buying it on Amazon.  Whatever, it was only $8.  After a week, I remembered the order and thought it was odd that it hadn't arrived yet.  I pulled up the shipping info online and it wasn't going to be here for 6 weeks?  Six Weeks?  How can anything take six weeks to ship from Amazon? I'm pretty sure they could ship their CEO to me in less than six weeks. Unless he's coming from China.  How did I manage to order the only item on Amazon.com that ships from china on a boat? And not only is it slow but it's a tiny little bag of ribbon being throw in a 40' container which is being thrown on a container ship and sent off across the Pacific in the slow lane.  That bag of ribbon is never getting here.
John, "Dont' you remember The Wire? They lost a container full of whores. You're screwed."

Well, the ribbon did show up, the morning of and the party went off without a hitch. Lots of good food.  Lots of good whiskey. We played Outlander Bingo. One of the squares was "Bonnie Prince Charles acts like a tit" so that was basically a free spot for everyone.

A few unexpected things happened.  Like this:

Suzanne brought an Outlander cake complete with the Red Dress, Standing Stones and Jamie's kilt.
Me, "Oh my god. Did you make this?"
Suzanne, "Yeah, right."
Me, "Okay, stupid question."

As we got ready to finally start watching the show, we started to hear music.
"Do you hear that?"
"Is that someone's ring tone?
"Who's playing bag pipe music?"
A few folks wandered over to the window and....

Holy Crap, there's a bagpiper on my lawn!

I'm ashamed to admit that my first thought was, "Oh my god, what a coincidence!" Luckily that thought flew out of my mind as quickly as it entered and I didn't say it out loud.  We all started asking one another if they had arranged it but when no one fes'd up we realized it was John.  "That's why he's been texting and asking what we were doing!" Sure enough it was John.
Suzanne, "Did your man do this? My man has never sent me another man!"
DeeDee, "Is he going to strip?"
And this is how you know you're old. You're old when someone says, "Is he going to strip?"but not in an excited tone of voice but in a 'if he strips, you are definitely getting a letter from the home owners' association' tone of voice. He didn't strip, thank god, but he did take requests and even tried to teach Carol how to play.  And we all had a dram or two on the lawn with him.

All in all it was a great party. It must have been a great party because I woke up at 10:45 with bruises on my shins and John standing in the doorway asking, "Is there a penis on that cake?"

Slainte!