Proving once again that John and I could lose each other in the same room

John had some time to kill so agreed to run to the mall with me.  We were taking separate cars so he could to straight to his meeting afterwards.

Me, "I'll meet you in the Nordstrom shoe section."
John, "Women's?"
Me, "Yes, but it's right next to the Men's so it doesn't really matter."
John, "Right inside the south door?"
Me, "I don't know if it's south or not."
John, "Is Nordstrom on the south side of the mall?
Me, "I don't know."
John, "Next to the Bart station?"
Me, "No, it's on the opposite side of the mall from Mellman's office."
John, "Oh, okay. I'll meet you inside the door."
Me, "Yes, in the shoe section."
John, "What door do you usually park at?"
Me, "The one next to the shoes."
John, "The shoes are on the main floor, right?"
Me, "Yes, and there's only one door on that floor."
John, "Okay,"
Me, "Okay.

15 minutes later.....

I'm in the shoe section, browsing around. No John.  I browse around some more.  No John. I left my phone in the car but am now regretting it because I could be reading my book while I'm waiting.  No John.  I find a bench to sit on and it occurs to me that he may have had to go back to work so now I"m really regretting the fact that I left my phone in the car so I leave to get my phone.

Message on my phone, "Where are you?  I'm at the door."

I call back.

John, "I'm at the door opposite Mellman's office."
Me, "Why? We said the shoe section."
<I start walking to the opposite side of the mall thinking he's at the door opposite, not the side opposite."
John, "I'm right behind you."

We both hang up.

John, "Where were you?"
Me, "At the door by the shoe section. Where were you?"
John, "At the door opposite Mellman's office."
Me, "That door's downstairs. We said the door on the main floor."
John, "That door is on the main floor."
Me, "No it's not."
John, "Yes, it is."
<the door in question is actually between the floors with stairs going up and down>
Me, "It's downstairs.  You have to go down the stairs to get to it."
John, "Whatever. Where were you just now?"
Me, "I left my phone in the car but I though maybe you'd been called back to work so I went to get it.?"
John, 'WHHHHY would you leave your phone in the car?"
Me, "BECAUSE we had decided where to meet."
John, "And as many times as we've screwed that up, you thought it would work out this time?"
Me, "We said THE SHOE SECTION."
John, "And you didn't think we could screw that up?"

And we head off into the mall, both muttering...
Me, "we agreed the...."
John, "leave your phone in....."

10 minutes later, he loses me in the cosmetic section because the clerk and I needed to walk over to a different register that was in a straight and clear line from the first one.  I could see him looking around. I was waving. Clerk, looked up and laughed, "men!"
Then I see him wander off as my butt starts ringing.

Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ.