I've seen the first two episodes of FTWD and if these folks don't smarten up, I'm gone. Now, I have a very healthy 'willing suspension of disbelieve'. I know this is a pre-zombie outbreak show so there's going to be a whole lot of 'what's going on?' but, come one, these people are not just zombie-show stupid, they're stupid-stupid. I'm having to amp up my WSOD; this is clearly a world without George Romero, Brad Pitt or cable t.v.
So we start out with a drugged out kid who sees his friend eating another dudes face. In the hospital he tells this to his mom and stepdad. The stepdad, in the greatest act of step-father/step-son bonding in the history of the world decides to go check out the crack house, alone, at night, in L.A. If you remove the zombies from the scenario, you still wouldn't do this because 1) crack house, 2) alone, 3) at night and 4) in L.A. This guy is a high school teacher, who brought Jack London to life in a new and exciting way for a group of dead-eyed LA teenagers who all had to walk through a metal detector before entering the building. Yet he still thinks its a good idea checking out the crack house that is home to a bad batch of drugs, that could be laced with PCB, alone at night in L.A. He should have been shot on principle.
After a while, they decide that something strange is afoot and should maybe leave town. So what do they do? They all race off in different directions. "I know, you go to your ex-wife's house, I'll go to the school, that kid will walk into a riot and the daughter can try to get back to the sick boyfriend's house leaving the druggie detox'g on the couch. Then y'all will be the 5 people that I meet in heaven." Meanwhile no one has so much as thrown a can of soup into the car. They live in L.A.! One of these kids had to have put together an earthquake pack for an elementary school project. There should at least be an old backpack hanging in the garage with a flashlight and a couple packs of batteries. I supposed that I should have been bothered that the step dad had the stupidest conversation with the ex-wife when trying to explain why she and the boy needed to meet him but if those two were able to effectively communicate, I suppose, they'd still be married.
By the end of the show, the main characters had, personally, seen two people not die after being repeatedly killed, they're still not in a hurry. They're wandering around, driving the speed limit and obeying traffic laws. And no one has uttered the Z-word. I don't mean, "Oh, look, it's a zombie." but at least something like:
person 1, "There's some weird ass zombie-shit going on here."
person 2, "You're not saying there are zombies out there?"
person 1, "No, man, I said 'zombie-shit' like 'zombie-ish or 'zombie-like'. I'm not crazy, just something is really wrong here!"
then they throw some food in the car and drive out of town.
At this rate, everybody is going to be dead in a few episodes. Except Tobias. Tobias is the only one with his shit together.
By the way, if you tell me that you saw a zombie, I would totally believe you. I don't know who's at the top of your Zombie Apocalypse Call Sheet but it should be me. The same goes for aliens and computers taking over the world. When SkyNet takes over, call me and I'll spring you from the Funny Farm and we can head for the hills together. I'll even bring the dogs so we have something to eat in a few weeks. ( Oh, stop it, the zombie apocalypse has no room for you bleeding hearts. )
No comments:
Post a Comment