I'd get up, make myself a cup of coffee, one of the boys would get the newspaper from the driveway, and I'd go out into the sun room and do the crossword puzzle. The boys would watch cartoons, John would sleep and I'd do my crossword puzzle in glorious peace. All was right with the world.
But a few weeks ago John cancelled the newspaper because "it was crap and not worth the paper it was printed on". Fine, I'm only in it for crossword puzzles so whatever. But now if I want my puzzle before 10:00 am, I have to leave the house, drive down to the newspaper box and get it. And it's cold out there.
This morning it's 42 degrees out. I scrounged around for 12 quarters and drove down to the machine but the fucking piece of yellow metal would not give me my newspaper. I put the quarters in 3 times. Okay, it was actually 5, and I know that's the definition of insanity "doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result" but I just want my peaceful morning in the sun room so just give me my fucking puzzle!! And I'm yanking on the stupid handle, trying to get the fucking door to open......
So I drove back home, stomped into the bedroom and yelled down at John.
"GO GET ME A NEWSPAPER!!"
"wwwhh"
"THE MACHINE WOULDN'T GIVE ME A NEWSPAPER! GO GET ME A NEWSPAPER!"
"you woke me up"
"I KNOW I WOKE YOU UP"
"ahn, waaa, it's 8:00 in the morning"
"NO, IT'S 9:00 IN THE MORNING. THE CLOCKS CHANGED LAST NIGHT FOR DAY LIGHT SAVINGS TIME!!!"
"huh? there are papers at Starbucks"
'I KNOW THERE ARE PAPERS AT STARBUCKS! I DON'T WANT TO GO TO STARBUCKS! I JUST WANT A NEWSPAPER! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CANCELLED THE NEWSPAPER AND NOW I HAVE TO GO GET IT! YOU START THESE THINGS AND THEN THEY'RE MY PROBLEM AND I JUST WANT MY PUZZLE!!!"
"fine, jesus, I get a paper"
And get this, now he's mad at me.
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