My house needs a court reporter. You know, the quiet unassuming lady in a basic black suit who takes down everything that is said in court on that funny little machine. I want that lady in my house 24/7. My very own Della Street. Of course Della Street wasn't the court reporter but she still wrote everything down in her steno pad. I'm not sure why but anyway....
I want her there so that the next time my husband says something silly like, "you didn't tell me that" I can turn to her (she'll probably have a name like Barbara) and say, "Barbara, would you please read the transcript from Monday, March 4th?" Then she'd flip through the pages and read:
Ms. Moore: We're meeting people for dinner on Friday.
Defendant: Do I have to come?
Ms. Moore: Yes, you have to come.
Defendant: Are the other husbands coming?
Ms. Moore: No, John, the other husbands are staying home but you have to come.
Defendant: I was just asking. This Friday?
Ms. Moore: Yes, this Friday
God, I want that so bad. Or better yet, the Star Trek computer. Then it could help me find things too. I could look up and say, "Computer, where is my cell phone?" And the voice of Hugh Jackman would say, "You left if in the car again, baby, but no worries, I've got your back."
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