Some animals eat their young. I know why.

So I'm sitting on the couch reading and Sam comes over and sits next to me with his head on my shoulder and his hand on my stomach.  Sweet, right?  Then he moves his had a couple of times and says, "Oh, he's kicking. This one's going to be a soccer player."

Me, "OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
Sam, <snickering> "I'm Joking!"
Me, "You're lucky I'm just kicking you out of the room and not out of the house!"
Sam, <still laughing> "I was joking!!"
Me, "GET OUT!"
Sam, trots down the hall giggling.

I told John and he, of course, thought it was hilarious.

Me, "You need to talk to him.  He can't go around saying that to people."
John, "hahahahahahahah"
Me, "Oh, sure, it's all fun and games until someone kicks the shit out of him."

Rotten kid.