And that is why the Terrorists Hate Us

Received this email from the Middle School Principal.

Parents...

Happy Friday!  I wanted to send this email to you in hopes that you will support a concern that I keep having on Fridays during our lunches.

You may not be familiar with the term, but a group of girls introduced some new vocabulary to me recently that seems to be catching on with our student body..."Fatty Fridays!"

Now please don't get me wrong...in my day to day actions as a school administrator, there are many issues that I need to deal with.  This concern is only a small one of many, but one I wanted to address nonetheless.

For a few months now...on Fridays, we have noticed an increase in food parties.  Allow me to describe... One student brings multiple 2-litres of soda, another has their parents bring a couple of pizzas from Costco, another brings candy and another doughnuts, ice cream, bags of Doritos, etc.  Though in the spirit of collaboration and working together I can appreciate the orchestration and effort, the gluttony that these students share as they sit in the lunch room in front of their peers is not a positive one.  We have dealt with multiple party crashers who beg for some soda or a piece of pizza... or just take what does not belong to them.  It is also becoming difficult for the front office staff to collect what parents are dropping off and making sure they are distributed to the right students.  This goes above their job responsibilities.  Please note that after this 31 minute eating binge, the students need to go back to the second half of their academic day ready to focus on learning, not in a sugar frenzy.

I am asking that you not support these parties anymore and refrain from dropping things off in the front office of this nature.  In the spirit of what we try to support in the way of health and wellness on this campus, these "Fat Friday" food parties work to that detriment of such philosophies.

I understand and appreciate the parent that drops off a cheeseburger on their child's birthday, but those occasions are different when compared to the food parties I describe above.  Please don't mistake this email as a lecture on what students should and should not be eating.  It is merely information and a request I share with you that allows us to work together to support students and their learning.  Thank you.

Have a nice weekend..

There are so many things wrong with this that I don't even know where to start.....