The Zombies are Killing Us

We got an XBox for the boys this Christmas.  Well, maybe for the boys.  It was intended for the boys.  It's definitely the boys'….Anyway,  it came "bundled" with two games that we deemed inappropriate for them.  One of those games was Dead Rising 3 and although we wholeheartedly agreed that the game was inappropriate, the boys have watched a lot of it.  Watched, mind you, not played but they're gotten quite bored with it.  (I don't know what's wrong with kids today but they lack focus and stamina.)  So it's up to John and I to fight all these zombies.  And it's exhausting.  It's only been hooked up for a week but it's become all encompassing.  The first few days, the boys would walk into the room and say,

boys, "can we play the XBox?"
us, "sure, just 10 more minutes."
boys, "can we play the XBox?"
us, "yeah, 30 minutes tops."
boys, "can we play the XBox?"
us, "we just need to find the fuel for the airplane."
boys, "can we play the XBox?"
us, "you're grounded. go to your rooms"

We thought things would get better when John went back to work the day after New Year's.  However the first day was filled with texts like:

Then when he came home (early) from work the first thing he said as he rushed in the door and down the hall to change clothes was, "I got a plan for killing Diego.  I'm gonna find a shotgun and give it to the guy back at the armory and then he'll come and help me."  I was like, "Load it up! We're going back in!"

It's even invaded my dreams.  Not that I have zombie dreams but during my dreams I find myself scrolling through my options/arsenal to see what to do.  Do I talk to her?  Can I ignore her?  Do I have enough food? What's with the duck?  Pause!  Pause!

Now you may not be familiar with Dead Rising 3 but if you are, you know that it's a single player game.  Well, we play as a team.  Mainly because we're old and our first video game was "Pong".  This game is way beyond "Pong".  It's way too intense for me which isn't saying much.  I get stressed out playing Lego Star Wars.  "Everyone's shooting at meeeeeee!!!"  It's too intense for John too which is saying something but you have to do all these missions and there are zombies everywhere.  So one person (John) works the controller and kills the constant hoard of zombies swarming around. and the other person (me) looks for weapons and vehicles and food and yells helpful things like, "Go Left!  Left!  Left!  No Right!  X  X  B  AHHHHH"

Our only reprieve is changing clothes.  Wait, that came out wrong.  Throughout the game there are different clothes laying around.  The first day our character, Nick, ran around in nothing but boxer shorts that had a wrench on them.  (Yeah, I don't know either)  but this made me too nervous.  I mean how can you fight zombies when you're not wearing shoes.  So we've been running through Los Perdidos, fighting zombies while wearing coveralls, a welder's helmet, army fatigues, police tactical outfits, a Manga mask, plaid golfer pants, skate shoes, you name it.  We've been half the Village People and are currently wearing a shiny space girl dress.

And to top things off people from outside our house, from the real world, will drop into the game and try to play with us which totally confuses us.  "Who's that?"  "Whose voice is that?" "I hear someone breathing"  "Go away!"  "Go away!"  "Do you think they can see that you're dress in a tennis skirt and combat boots?"

I can't wait for school to start back up so we can get back to normal.  These zombies are killing me.

(And they can call that town Los Perdidos but it's L.A. because the freeways are a fucking mess!)