So I'm no longer PTA treasurer. The executive board staged a coup three weeks into the school year and ousted the president. That's right, all the women who re-elected her at the end of last year (and I was at the meeting. They all voted 'aye') got together and in a flurry of emails and texts decided she had to go because she, wait for it, disagreed about the website. Oh. My. God! Off with her head! And it involved the council level pta people and the district level pta people and the assistant superintendent and the principal who finally said, "Holy shit. You gotta go cause these fuckers are crazy and I'm not losing my dental insurance over this." Okay, I don't know what he really said. I'm paraphrasing.
But anyway, I decided that this was the perfect time to resign as well. For a couple of reasons really.
One: this was a clear shift from the usual Ha-Ha Crazy to a World War Z Crazy where you have to slowly and quietly back out of the room before they notice you and try to eat your brain. Ha-Ha crazy is entertaining. Zombie crazy is just plain scary and I'll leave that to Brad Pitt.
And two: this was the Worst. Coup. Ever. It wan't even a real coup. It was a Slap Fight. Frankly it was embarrassing and I demand to be in charge of the next coup. I'll go all Argo on their asses. We'll storm the gates of the school. Well, someone will have to call ahead and make sure the gates are closed and locked, and then we'll storm the gates. We'll need a ladder, someone write that down. We'll break windows and burn files. Papers will be shredded. Demands will be shouted over the PA system. Kids will sneak away on bicycles. And hostages! What's a coup without hostages?! Someone is getting handcuffed to a fucking radiator! I want someone down a rat-hole until the marines show up. We're in this for the long haul so line up your babysitters now! And the next person who plans a Twitter-coup is getting put on cafeteria rations for a month. Jeez.
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