It's like Slug-Bug, only Different

So John and I invented this game called "Douche Bag" and I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this.....

It started when we were in Santa Cruz one weekend this summer.  Now don't get me wrong, Santa Cruz is a great town, when you get off the boardwalk.  But the boys loooove the boardwalk. The rides, the carnival food, the games with cheap breakable prizes AND there's a beach.  What could be better?

You know what else is there?  Dudes in cut-off tank tops, dudes in Ed Hardy shirts, dudes with popped collars, dudes wearing socks and shoes in the sand, dudes who are one corn dog away from a coronary eating corn dogs...shall I continue?  And they're all loud because naturally we all want to hear what the most interesting man in the world is talking about two blocks away.  And I'm not talking about the kids.  If you're under the age of 30, you're gonna dress and act like an idiot.  We did, they do, and the next generation will.  It's a rite of passage, just embrace it.  I'm talking about all the dudes over the age of 40 who should know better.  Hang up the phone, douche bag, you're not that important.

It was reminiscence of the first time John and I went to Olive Garden.  It was probably 1999. As I was perusing the menu, John was looking around the room.  After a few minutes he leaned over and said, "I think we're the best people here."

Go to Santa Cruz, you'll be the best person there.  With your unwashed hair and mustard stained shirt, sunburned husband and kids screaming to play mini-golf; you will be the best. person. there.

Anyway, this week was middle school registration.  It was hot and we were standing 30 deep in line, in the sun.  And some short dude, with spiked blond hair and a pink shirt was expounding on his kid's karate* and I punched Sam in the shoulder and said "Dou...."
Sam: "oooowwwww"
Me: "uuhh"
Sam: "what was that for"
Me: "uuh, nothing, sorry"
Sam: "jeez"

(*I don't have a problem with any of these things unless you roll them all together and marinate them in douche bag for 45 years. Then we got problems.)

Tonight we're going to the Oakland A's game.  Better bring shoulder pads.