Global Robopocalypse

So on our trip we had this GPS system to help us get around in our rental car.  We also had the map functions on our phones and the ability to read signs yet we still managed to get lost way more often they we should have.  Go figure.   But the GPS system was quite useful.  The toughest part was deciding which voice to use.  The man (American Joe or whatever the hell he was called) sounded way too mechanical and creepy.  "Shall we play a game?"  The first female voice (Marlena Bland, I'm guessing here) was weird so we decided on the second, who I dubbed Satellite Sally.  I thought it was funny.  Tom thought it was mean.  Should have listened to Tom.

So the GPS worked great but it didn't know about all the freeway closures.

Sally: Take the first right onto the A17
Me: The A17 is closed
John: <tapping GPS buttons while driving>
Sally: Take the first right onto the A17
Me: It's closed
John: <tap><tap><tap><tap>
Sally: Take the first right onto the A17
John: Get the phone
Me: It thinks we're in California, just a second.
Sally: Get in right lane and take the next exit towards the A17
Me: Jesus, Sally, enough with the A17
John: What does the phone say?
Me: You have twelve new messages
John: Jennifer!
Me: Ummm....there's a blue dot on Europe
Sally: Take the A83 towards the A17
Me:  Can we shut her up?

She also didn't know about all the little one-way streets in the little towns.

Sally:  Take the first left
John: Shit, it's one way
Sally:  Take the first left
Me: Just go straight and take the next left
John: <turns right>

At least the "Recalculating" response was disabled.

So on the last day as we were driving back to the airport, we missed the freeway entrance and ended up on a side street.  Sally started trying to get us turned around when Sam said, "She sounds really serious today."  Then Tom added, "Um, yeah."  That was a worrisome statement because, well, she's a machine.  It was even more worrisome because for the last 20 minutes, I'd been thinking, "Man, Sally's pissed off."  but I figured it was just my imagination.  Apparently not.  After a week of wrong turns, blatant disregard for her directions and making fun of her french accent, we were at the mercy of an angry GPS system who may or may not be in communication with our plane.  Me, "Well, it's been a long trip for everyone.  Let's just give Ms. Sally a break."  I threw in the "Ms" as a kiss-up to get us through the first round of exterminations.  Worth a shot.