Meter Stick

I just finished reading "Tony and Susan" by Austin Wright.  It's been turned into a movie called, "Nocturnal Animals" and the preview looked good, like some who's-who, what-really-happened psychological thriller so I decided to read the book.  Someone needs to read this and tell me if it's good or not.  I really don't know.  I also don't know what it's about.  Some of the wording was odd so I thought maybe it was originally written in a language other than English and the translation is off but when I looked up the author, it turns out he's American. He's also written essays on critical thinking.  Okay, maybe I'm too dumb to understand it.  It must be an illustration of some philosophical concept but I don't know what. Again, I'm too dumb or something.  Anyway, there was this great quote that I thought was very relevant in our current political climate.

"....when his rudeness was replaced by civility, civility looked like glamor."

Civility should be the bare minimum of our expectations.
You don't get credit for not being an asshole.

Iron Chef Canada

John cooks on the weekends.  Lately his signature dish is chicken.  The man can roast a mean chicken.

I need this sign

My Old Lady Group

So I attended my monthly Women's Club meeting last week.  When I got there, I had a bit of a panic because I my friend, Lisa, who got me involved in the first place, wasn't there and these old ladies are crazy....

So I sent a few texts to keep her up to date:

Later John asked how the meeting went so I showed him the text string. Including an additional one that I'd sent prior to the monthly board meeting that I also attend because they tricked me.  Crazy yet wily old ladies. 

John, "Uh...wha....hhh....I don't know what any of this means."
Me, "Exactly. Yet notice that Lisa knew exactly what I was talking about each time."
Me, "Want me to explain them to you."
John, "I really don't."

Later, when we were leaving the high school football game:
Sam, "How was your old lady's meeting?"
Me, "It was fine.  I sat at the 'young' table but our token old lady got upset because I kept saying 'fuck'."
John, "JENNIFER!"
Me, "Well, if you had taken a greater interest in my day, I wouldn't be standing here telling the kid.  And he said 'bitch' not 10 minutes ago. You didn't say anything about that."
Sam, "I was being funny and I didn't say the whole word."
Me, "You stopped at H."
John, <walking away> "oh my god."
Me, "What?"

Why does anyone care about this?

Why, why, why, is Kaepernick still getting air time?  I'm convinced it's just so the news outlets can prove they know how to spell his name. If they really want me to pay attention, they need to start finding new and interesting ways to misspell his name. Throw a few Kaeperninski's or Kaeperachoo's in the crawl and I'll sit up.

What is his endgame here?  Is he hoping to introduce moral responsibility to the NFL?  Yeah, right. American football has already sold it's soul.  The list of moral transgressions they don't give a shit about is endless.  Hell, they'll help you protect a child rapist as long as you keep winning games.   They'll even honor you at Homecoming.

I'm also not impressed with his choice of civil disobedience.  All he's doing is sitting on his ass.  I can do that.  He's not even sitting out the entire game. He's sitting out for 1.31 minutes.  He is risking nothing. NOTHING.  He's worth millions. His latest contract is worth  millions. If they fire him, they'll have to pay him millions and another team will pick him up for more millions.  His sponsors aren't going to drop him because he's "standing by his beliefs" and he's getting more press. Wow, Kaepeppernut, you're so brave! Move over, Rosa.

And you know what my biggest problem is with this publicity stunt? I don't believe him.  I don't for a minute think he believes that black lives matter.  He believes that some black lives matter. Otherwise he'd be sitting on his ass and refusing to play with or against the players who beat the shit out of their wives, or girlfriends or kids.  Oh, but wait, that's asking a lot so maybe just the ones we've seen ON TAPE. I guess those lives don't matter.

So fuck off, Kaepernicus, and go back to throwing your little ball around. You're not a role model.

You're not the Boss of Me!

Every fall John runs the Fantasy Football league for his office so around this time of year, we get a flurry of FF related emails at our home address.  This year I decided to respond to them.

Emails 1 & 2, reading from the bottom of course:

Emails 3 & 4:

John decides to jump in:

New player enters the game:

His response? "Fair enough"

"Fair enough?" Are you kidding me with this??

Later that day,
Me, "Adam Gold has no sense of humor."
John, "Have you been emailing my co-workers again?"
Me, <silence>
John, "I don't know some of these guys very well." <scrolling through his phone>
Me, <silence>
John, "Really, I'm serious, you need to stop..." <finds email>........."Okay, that's funny but.."
Me, "I know. I had my next response all lined up. 'Smoke signals have been discontinue because only you can prevent forest fires' but the guy gave me nothing."
John, "Stop emailing my co-workers."
Me, 'YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!"

When good science goes bad

So I was reading this article. You know how people always say that humans only use 10% of their brains and assume the other 90% is some mystery that if harnessed would mean limitless cosmic power? Well, that's not entirely true. We know what the whole brain does, well, not me but they, they know what it all does. We just use 10% at a time. That would have to be an average because everyone couldn't use exactly 10%. It's like body temperature. Every one's isn't exactly 98.6, that's just the average.  Some people have a higher body temperature and some people have a lower one.  My is on the low side, around 98.3 or something which is probably is why my kids don't really get fevers.  In fact they were the scourge of their first elementary school and it took several months to figure out that they were spreading Strep Throat around like little 5 year old Typhoid Mary's. They didn't run fevers or have any other symptoms; they were carriers only. It wasn't until John and I came down with our 5th collective case that the doctor said, "okaaaaay, who do you live with?"

But back to brains. People use 10% at a time on average, so some people use more and some use less.   Now here is where I start waxing philosophically rather than scientifically. The difference being scientists pose questions, run experiments, collect data and report results.  Philosophers sit around and debate whether someone's cat is dead or not and decide that it's both and, you know what, it's not. The cat is ALIVE and you know how I know that? Because it's not fucking dead.  Get a real job, ya hippies.

Again, back to the brain.  So some people use more of their brains at one time and others use less.  That would explain why some people are better at mutli-tasking then others, follow me so far? That mean's that when I'm dealing with someone who is only using 9.5% of their brain and I'm using 10.5% of mine and he's driving me completely nuts and, let's face it, it's definitely a HE, and I'm starting to lose it and the situation is quickly unraveling, it's not because I'm impatient or have unreasonable expectations or "need to calmthefuckdown for christsake". It's because I'm a genius.  Now that this has been scientifically proven, I'm sure things will go much smoother in the future.

This, by the way, is also why my handwriting is messy.  Geniusness is such a burden.