"She does that as a form of dominance....we don't have male dogs and she wants to be the alpha...if you hold her over water, she'll paddle her legs but that doesn't make her Michael Phelps.....fine, you're right, Alice is a lesbian"
"Will you straighten out the seatbelt.....because when it's twisted like that, the buckle thunks on the panel the whole time I'm driving....Well, I can't reach it back there.....Just STRAIGHTEN THE SEATBELT"
"Please, Man-Child, explain sexism in the workplace to me and speak slowly so that I can understand."
"Pluto is not a planet.....it doesn't matter that Wyoming passed a law stating that it is......Your opinion doesn't matter when it comes to science......Well, then they're using out of date textbooks.....fine, tell your science teacher that Pluto is a planet, I'm sure you'll enjoy summer school."
"Can we get through the meal without naming off all the things on the plate that cause cancer.....anything will kill you in the wrong amount. Too much water will kill you.....I'm 99% sure these crops were not irrigated with water from the Mekong.....When are you finished with Health class......Just eat the damn broccoli"
You'll never know how stupid you are until you have a teenager.
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