This is where I live...

So Tom got his braces off this week.  While he was still in the back room, the hygienist came out and said that the orthodontist recommended a fluoride treatment because of blah, blah, blah, some horrible problem in his mouth, as usual, and I said 'ok' so that she'd go away.

When he was all finished the orthodontist came out into the waiting room with him to let me know that I needed to make an appointment with his regular dentist as soon as possible so he could start treating the 'problem areas'. Okay, whatever, crazy person, go away.

Here's Tom's problem mouth:

still ZERO cavities

Apparently there are white spots on his teeth that are whiter than the rest.  Welcome to San Ramon, where only perfection is good enough.

They also gave me a gift card and at first I thought it was for a restaurant, "Yea, no cooking tonight!" But it wasn't for a restaurant, it was for a discount at a portrait studio and I laughed out loud which really flustered her but it was so random.  Like getting a tune-up and having the mechanic hand you a bag of goldfish.  Okay...why?