Zero Dark Thirty

So our flight home from Seattle left at 6:20 am.  That's in the morning.  We woke up around 4:00, left the hotel, turned in the rental car, caught the shuttle to the airport and went to check in for our flight.  We got to the airport around 4:45ish.  Most of that time was spent trying to get out of bed.

We were flying Alaska Airlines which has its hub in Seattle so there were approximately 150 kiosks for checking in.  Most were empty but we went to the first class/mvp area because John travels a lot and has status with several airlines.  He though we might get a couple of bags checked on for free at that counter so we gave it a shot.  We walked straight up to the counter and were immediately helped by a ticket agent that I can only assume was the Employee of the Year.

Agent, "May I help you?"
John, "Yes."
Agent, <words words> <taptaptaptaptaptap> <words>
John, <words>
Agent, <taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap>
John, <words>
Agent, <taptaptaptaptaptaptap....tap...taptaptaptaptaptap> <taptaptaptaptaptap> <taptaptaptaptaptap> <taptaptap.....tap....tap....tap....tappity..tappity.....tap....tap...taptaptaptaptaptaptap>

Me, to the kids, "You guys can go sit over there it you want."

Agent, <taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap...tap...tap...tap....taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap>
John, <staring>

Me, "I'm going to go sit over there too."

Agent, <taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap>
(I'm not shitting you here.)
<taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap>

John wanders over.
Me, "Any chance of actually getting plane tickets? I'm really not even concerned with destinations at this point."
John, "fuuuuuuuuuckk" and wanders back over to the counter.

Agent, <taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap>

After watching 1000 people pass through the MVP counter (okay maybe it was more like 15),  John finally came over with our tickets.  And I could have slept a half an hour longer.

Me, "what the fuck?"
John, "Well, it was a complicated since we were booked on three different reservations."
Me, "If that was the problem, we could have all checked in separately at one of those many many many kiosks."
John, "We saved $50 so it was worth it."
Me, "That's debatable."

John, "I didn't tell you about my conversation while I was getting our seat assignments. I got you three in row 15 and there was a spot for me in row 8.  Then she said, so you guys will be about 4 rows apart."

John, "Nope."

Hope she's not flying the plane.....