Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Back to School

So the boys started school on Monday and I spent the day doing nooooothinggggggg.  Not everyone has the stamina for that but whenever I felt the need to get up, I just dug my heels in....well, snuggled my tush deeper into the couch cushions and reached for the remote.  It's all about concentration, really, and never forgetting that you're doing this for all the people who can't do it for themselves.  So with remote in hand and NetFlix streaming,  I got through most of the first season of a BBC crime drama that I'd never even heard of.  It was a beautiful thing.

On Tuesday, I dropped the boys off and heading back home for chapter two of my Slacker marathon. I queued up the final episodes and knocked off season one.  By late morning,  I really needed to get out of the house.  My feet were falling asleep from my reclined position.  So I loaded up the dogs and drove to the park.  I pulled into a lovely spot in the shade and parked the car.  Then I realized that the dogs' leashes weren't in the car.

The leashes are typically kept in my car because Abbey and Alice are my little shop-girls and they run errands with me.  Until recently,  now Abbey tends to stay home and catch up on her nap time while Alice is out of the house.  I keep the leashes in my car in case I decide to take the dogs into the hardware store with me.  Hardware stores really need dogs, don't you think?  They call out for them.  Like bookstores.  Anyway, there I was at the park; two dogs and zero leashes.

So what were my options?  I could drive back to the house and get the leashes but the couch is in the house so that could be a problem.  Or I could take the dogs into the park without leashes but it was a park-park not a dog-park so it wasn't fenced.  That wouldn't have been a problem if I only had Abbey with me because Abbey's a good dog and stays by me and comes when she's called.  Alice isn't and doesn't.  I guess I could have carried Alice but damn if I was going to be that lady carrying her dog through the park.  And as I was sitting there weighing my options, I fell asleep.  In the parking lot.  Like a hobo.  A hobo with a car.  The dogs and I slept in the parking lot of the park for a good 30 minutes.  Well, I assume the dogs were sleeping too.  They could have sat there, guarding me but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say they fell asleep too.  Then we woke up and drove home. Another successful day.

So believe it when you hear that starting a new school year is exhausting for the whole family.  I'm living proof.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Look how far we've come

I found this picture on my phone.  I took it at the Woodland Park Zoo last month during our trip to Seattle.


It's a little stone lion.  No big deal, right?  Right.  Except as we walked past it on our way back to the car,  I was struck by this flashback.  The last time that the boys and I were at the zoo, before we moved to Arizona, was with the Twins Group.  It must have been towards the end of the summer of 2006.  So we were all strolling around and when we were walking past this statue, one of the moms, Megan, stopped to take a picture of her boys next to it.  Now Megan was the one, and there's one in every group, who was the first to have the latest and greatest techie stuff.  So she stood there and took a picture of her boys with her phone.  Her phone.  And we were all gawking at her and thinking, "That'll never last."  And we chuckled and wandered off to look at the elephants.  Ha Ha Ha, who takes pictures with their phone??  I mean really.....It was crazy......

Like when Eva was telling us how they rent movies through the mail and when they've finished with them, they just mail them back.  Whaaaaaa????

Friday, August 22, 2014

It Came From BEYOND the Shower!

So I decided to replace the shower head in the boy's bathroom.  We're not redoing the entire shower but shower heads are easy.  You just unscrew the old one and screw the new one on, right?  WRONG.  Not when the old head is 25 years old.  No, no, no. Shower head technology has advanced in leaps and bounds since the 80's.  I'm sure it was an integral part of the whole mars rover program.

The old shower head doesn't screw off so I thought I was out of luck until I discovered the Universal Shower Arm Replacement!!  With this bad boy,  you can replace that nasty old shower head.  AND, if you get the long twisty "s" shaped one, you can raise the height of the shower head so people over 5' 2" can actually stand under it.  Bonus!

So, here's our shower surround:

I should have taken a picture that shows the tub as well.
Then you could marvel in the fact that they installed a white tub and a off-white surround.
("They can't possibly All have good taste and a sense of humor", name the movie.)

And here's the shower head that doesn't screw off.  But that's okay because there are treads at the neck so we can attach our Universal Shower Arm Replacement!



And here's what you see when you slide off the wall cap.  The arm unscrews BEHIND THE SHOWER SURROUND. WTF!


And look closely because that greenish stuff sticking out of the hole....that's WALLPAPER.  WALLPAPER.  THEY WALLPAPERED BEHIND THE SHOWER SURROUND!  

This entire house is wrapped in wallpaper.  It's like the Blob, only teal and beige.  One night it's going to come curling out of the vents and drains.  Silently wrapping us up in it's sticky glue, turning us into mindless drones.  Don't crawl under the house!  Don't go up in the attic!  Grab the dogs and run! 

If I have to call the plumber back, I'm gonna be pissed.

(answer: When Harry Met Sally)



Thursday, August 21, 2014

Shoulda called this guy...

I would have gladly paid him $189/hour

I wonder if they make an action figure....

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

After years of searching....

We went to the San Jose Super Toy, Comic Book and Collectible Show last weekend.  Cindy Williams was there.  Not bad, but not nearly as good as meeting Buck Rogers at the Phoenix Comic Con.  Gil is still a fine looking gentleman, I'll have you know.  Anyway, I was on a mission to find Green Lantern to complete my Justice League of America set.  After combing through most of the rows, I found him in a side booth, nestled amongst the Transformers and Star Wars toys, with only two of his JLA brethren at his side.  Aquaman and the Atom, I think.  Not sure 'cause I only had eyes for Green Lantern.


I even bartered the price down.  And by 'bartered' I mean snatched up the box and started frantically searching through my pockets and bag looking for the loose cash that I had shoved in some pocket after paying the entry fee for the show.  John and the boys wandered off when I started emptying the contents of my purse onto the vendors display table.  "I've got it somewhere....I've got it somewhere...Hey, John?... John?....Crap....I'll find it....Just a minute....John?"  The guy finally took pity on me and gave it to me for $5 off.  I left the booth clutching the box to my chest as if some random 10 year old might try to take it from me.  I'm one cool customer, let me tell you.

I wanted until we got in the car before taking him out of the box.  They get all squirrely when you take things out of the box.  I don't get it.  They claim to be pop-culture aficionados but Toy Story was completely lost on them.   Sure they keep their comics in clear plastic covers but they still read them.

So now I have the set.


And it only took 9 years.

And to think I almost gave up the search and spent my money on the Funko Over-Sized Stay Puft Marshmallow Man Pop Action Figure.  Now that would have been silly.


Saturday, August 16, 2014

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Zero Dark Thirty

So our flight home from Seattle left at 6:20 am.  That's in the morning.  We woke up around 4:00, left the hotel, turned in the rental car, caught the shuttle to the airport and went to check in for our flight.  We got to the airport around 4:45ish.  Most of that time was spent trying to get out of bed.

We were flying Alaska Airlines which has its hub in Seattle so there were approximately 150 kiosks for checking in.  Most were empty but we went to the first class/mvp area because John travels a lot and has status with several airlines.  He though we might get a couple of bags checked on for free at that counter so we gave it a shot.  We walked straight up to the counter and were immediately helped by a ticket agent that I can only assume was the Employee of the Year.

Agent, "May I help you?"
John, "Yes."
Agent, <words words> <taptaptaptaptaptap> <words>
John, <words>
Agent, <taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap>
John, <words>
Agent, <taptaptaptaptaptaptap....tap...taptaptaptaptaptap> <taptaptaptaptaptap> <taptaptaptaptaptap> <taptaptap.....tap....tap....tap....tappity..tappity.....tap....tap...taptaptaptaptaptaptap>

Me, to the kids, "You guys can go sit over there it you want."

Agent, <taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap...tap...tap...tap....taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap>
John, <staring>

Me, "I'm going to go sit over there too."

Agent, <taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap>
(I'm not shitting you here.)
<taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap>

John wanders over.
Me, "Any chance of actually getting plane tickets? I'm really not even concerned with destinations at this point."
John, "fuuuuuuuuuckk" and wanders back over to the counter.

Agent, <taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap>

After watching 1000 people pass through the MVP counter (okay maybe it was more like 15),  John finally came over with our tickets.  And I could have slept a half an hour longer.

Me, "what the fuck?"
John, "Well, it was a complicated since we were booked on three different reservations."
Me, "If that was the problem, we could have all checked in separately at one of those many many many kiosks."
John, "We saved $50 so it was worth it."
Me, "That's debatable."

John, "I didn't tell you about my conversation while I was getting our seat assignments. I got you three in row 15 and there was a spot for me in row 8.  Then she said, so you guys will be about 4 rows apart."

John, "Nope."

Hope she's not flying the plane.....

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Woodlawn Park Zoo, part 2


And that, my friends, is a bat wearing the cone of shame.

Woodlawn park zoo

Huh?
You stupid, stupid human.
 "I can't believe we had to hang a sign."

Saturday, August 2, 2014

The best part about air travel...

Getting all the way to the airport before realizing that your white dog has been sleeping on your black coat.  swell