Dear Alice,

STOP SHITTING ON THE FLOOR!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!


**********

Sam, "Mom! She pooped again!"
Me, "#$%^&*"
Sam, "I'm great at finding poop.  I'm the Poop Finder."
Me, "Well, I'm promoting you to Poop Preventer…….Hey, get back here…."

**********

John, "So, how do you teach her not to crap in the house?"
Me, "Well, I caught her earlier and got her outside before she did anything."
John, "But how do you teach her?"
Me, "Um…I'm just going to…. hmm…teach her."
John, "So you're going to teach her."
Me, "yeah?"
John, "Good plan"