Conversation with my Car

Oh, if my car could talk…..

stayed up to late last night, tired this morning, boys are off to school, on my way to the gym, in the car….

Me:  "why aren't we starting?"
Car: "no keys"
Me:  "crap"

out of the car, back in the house, grab the keys, out of the house, back in the car, throw keys in cup holders, buckle seat belt, check phone for texts….

Car: <sigh>

oh, funny text from Tina about text messages from a dog, laugh, laugh, laugh, respond to text, toss phone of passengers seat, reach over for seat belt….

Me: "where's the seat belt?"
Car: "I think you're the only person in the world who does this."
Me:  "huh?"
Car: "you're already wearing the seat belt."
Me: "yes, well, most people in the world don't drive."

start to back out of garage...

Car: "is the garage door open?"
Me: "I only did that once.  Jeez."

back into driveway, wow, really sunny, stop the car, search around…..

Me: "where are my sunglasses?"
Car:  <sigh> "in the house."
Me: "crap"

out of car again, back in house again, find sunglasses, back out of house, back in car, okay here we go...

Me: "why aren't we moving?"
Car: <sigh>
Me: "what?!"
Car: "not in gear"
Me: "shit"
shift into drive
Car: "vroom"

back out of driveway, still bright out, flip down sun visor, heading down street…

Me: "why is it still so bright? I can't see a thing! What the h..."
Car: "close sunroof cover."
Me: "oh, thanks."

driving….

Me: "somedays, I wonder how I make it out of the house….."
Car: "it's a fucking miracle."