Sunday Football

Right before the Seahawks/Packers game started:

Me, "Do you want to have a Super Bowl if Seattle makes it again?"
John, "Sure."

<10 seconds later>

Me, "And that should jinx things real good."
John, "Yeah, thanks for that."

No strings

So we saw the new trailer for the Avengers - Age of Ultron.  Very cool!

Later found myself singing "I've got no strings to hold me down. To make me fret. To make me frown. I had..."

Sam, "Hey, that's the Avengers song"
Me, "It's the Pinocchio song."
Sam, "No, it's  not. It's the Avengers song."

<sigh>

And to think, there's a whole generation out there who think "Who Are You" is the theme from CSI.

Music Appreciation

So both of the boys are in band again this year and one of their assignments this semester was to go to a musical performance of some sort and write up a paper on it.  The semester ends next week so, naturally, the boys came home on Friday, all in a panic, because they needed to go to a concert NOW, MOM, NOW! Huh? How long have you known about this? MOOOOM!!

Not to worry, we do live outside San Francisco so how hard can it be to find a concert of some sort on short notice?  We ought to be able to find some left-handed accordion recital or something, right?  Well, here's what I quickly learned about concerts; everybody and their dog has a musical performance in December and then take the month of January off.  The best I could find was a Spandau Ballet concert in Sacramento.  Well, hell.  So John did some googling and found a small ensemble performance at a church in Portola Valley for Sunday.

Come Sunday, we loaded up the boys, grumbling and groaning like this was our idea or something, and headed off.  After about 40 minutes, I turned to John, "So, where are we?"
John, "We just crossed the Dumbarton Bridge. Over that way is Menlo Park and Palo Alto is over there."
Me, "Oh. Okay.  So where are we?"
John, "About 10 more minutes."
Me, "Okay."

So we drove through Stanford, to see all the smart people, and drove along the Linear Particle Accelerator.  "See, it's that long building over there."  "You can still see it."  "Dad's been in there."  "Get off your phones."  They didn't care.  And finally we arrived at Valley Presbyterian Church.  A very cool A-Frame church.  Not real big but the entire front wall was glass, looking out at these gorgeous cedar trees, and there were skylights all along the sides and real shrubs and plants along the walls and up in the altar area.  It felt like you were outside.  AND, they had a bar set up in the back for intermission.  Do all Presbyterian churches have bars?  I don't know but I'm converting just to be on the safe side.

So the assignment was for the boys to attend a concert and write a two page paper about it, in no larger than 12 font.  Clearly this was not Mr. Rugani's first rodeo.
Kid, <whining> "But I did turn in a 2 page paper."
Mr. Rugani, "It was in 48 font, Howard! Nice try!"

Now, I don't know anything about music, but 2 pages?  Really? My report would be something like this:

   I went to an Ensemble Concert.  Before the performance they announced that if we had any questions about anything at all, we could text them and they would try to answer during intermission.  This was a first for me. Usually they get all attitude-y about turning off your cell phones.

   There were 3 ladies on violins.  One could have been a Viola but I get those confused.  There was also a guy on cello and another guy playing clarinet.  The guy on clarinet was very serious and got very red in the face like he was going to have an aneurysm or something. After the  first song the clarinetist left, probably to get a CT scan, and was replaced with a guy playing double bass.  I was rather disappointed with the double bass because it looked just like a regular bass and I was expecting something, I don't know, double.  But he did look a little like Peter Capaldi so maybe it was bigger on the inside.  

   After the first song, we applauded and the musicians all got up and left. This made me wonder, are they going to get up and leave after every song? because that is rather inefficient.  Now I don't know much about musical performances but I do know something about manufacturing flow and you can't sew one zipper and then get up and leave the room.  Sit your ass down and keep sewing. 

   Then I fell asleep.

The End

P.S.  I texted, "What's up with the double bass? I demand a refund." but I didn't get a response.

And when we got up to leave I heard the old guy behind us say, "Are they serving wine back there?" Another convert.  Hallelujah.  

Tom's Foot

It's like Gandolf and Frodo, only without the forced perspective.

The Worst Part about Winter in California

Abbey: It's sunny outside. It must be warm.  I want to go outside.
Alice: Me too.
I get up and let the dogs out.
Abbey: Oh, it's cold.  I want to go back inside.
Alice: Me too.
I get up and let the dogs in.

<2 minutes later>

Abbey: It's sunny outside. It must be warm.  I want to go outside.
Alice: Me too.
I get up and let the dogs out.
Abbey: Oh, it's cold.  I want to go back inside.
Alice: Me too.
I get up and let the dogs in.

<2 minutes later>

Abbey: It's sunny outside. It must be warm.  I want to go outside.
Alice: Me too.
I get up and let the dogs out.
Abbey: Oh, it's cold.  I want to go back inside.
Alice: Me too.
I get up and let the dogs in.

<2 minutes later>

Abbey: It's sunny outside. It must be warm.  I want to go outside.
Alice: Me too.
Me, "Forget it."
Abbey: Sits in front of me and stares unceasingly
Alice: wwwhhhhiiiiiiiiiiinnee
Me, "Uh-uh.  No way."
Abbey: <staring>  <staring>  <staring>  <staring>  <staring>
Alice: wwwhhhhiiiiiiiiiiinnee
Me, "I'm not letting you out."
Abbey: <staring>  <staring>  <staring>  <staring>  <staring>
Alice: wwwhhhhiiiiiiiiiiinnee
Me, "Go lay down."
Abbey: <staring>  <staring>  <staring>  <staring>  <staring>
Alice: wwwhhhhiiiiiiiiiiinnee
Me, "Fine. but you're staying out this time."
Abbey: Oh, it's cold.  I want to go back inside.
Alice: Me too.
Me, "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"

Pavlov would be so proud of them.

I'm so underestimated

Tom, "Whatcha eating?"
Me, "Pudding"
Tom, "Did Grandma make it?"
Me, "Grandma left six weeks ago."
Tom, "Who made it?"
Me, "I did."
Tom, "Is it like Grandma's?"
Me, "Yes."
Tom, "Did you buy it?"
Me, "I bought the box."
Tom, "So you didn't make it."
Me, "Yes, I made it."
Tom, "But not like Grandma's."
Me, "Yes, like Grandma's. She makes it with a box. She doesn't make pudding from scratch. No one makes pudding from scratch."
Tom, "So did you buy it or make it?"
Me, "Tom, surprising as it may be, your mother knows how to make pudding."
Tom, "Huh...........Can I have some?"
Me, "No."

I must be getting old

So we got the latest version of Dead Rising with new missions and new characters, and what I find myself saying more than anything else is, "Boy, he has a potty mouth."  I even caught myself saying, out loud, "Oh, I don't like his language at all."  I'm officially my mother.