Happy Alien Day

So John called yesterday to tell me that the local multiplex was showing Alien and did I want to see it.  Alien on the big screen?  Hell yes!

When he got home later, he asked, "Do you know why they're showing it tonight?"
Me, "Because Alien Covenant is coming out next month?"
John, "Well, that but there's another reason.?"
Me, "uuuuhhh?"
John, "Do you know the name of the moon that they land on?"
Me, "LV426"
John, Oh, you knew that. I guess I should have know that."
Me, "Yeah, the commercial towing vessel, Nostromo, and it's crew of 7, were prematurely awakened on their return to Earth because Mother detected an acoustical beacon of unknown origin."
John, "riiiiight. And?"
Me, "Huh?"
John, "What day is it?"
Me, "April.....uhhh....OH, 26!"

Get it? April 26? 4-26?

John, "Yeah! that's the alien planet"
Me, "It's not the alien planet! Did i.q.'s just drop sharply while I was away? I already said it was not indigenous It was a derelict spacecraft.....we honed in on it's beacon."
John, "fabulous. We're leaving at 6:30."

Armed with my Face Hugger, we headed out to the movie theater.

Sam forgot the Chest Burster, bummer. I left my Xenomorph at home because I didn't want to look weird carrying two alien plushies, I mean, c'mon.

When you press on his tummy, his little jaws come out!  So precious!

Before the movie started, there was a clip from Ridley Scott thanking us from coming. "Don't be silly, Ridley, really, it was no problem." And he let us know that after the showing there would be a special clip from the upcoming Alien Covenant. YEA!!

Alien on the big screen was amazing! There were lots of little things I'd never noticed before having only seen it on a small screen.  Like in the scene where Ash is trying to kill Ripley (oops, spoiler, Ash is a robot. And the A2's always were a bit twitchy.) there were torn-out pages from a porno mag taped to the walls.  Interesting.  And, regardless of the number of times you've seen it, Kane is still an idiot.

And the clips from Alien Covenant were AWESOME.  We were expecting 2-3 minutes of footage but there was close to 10.  I'm already on line trying to find the new zenomorph.  

John, "could you, maybe, just, not?" 

But he's got little spikes on his back. Oh my god!

So, happy belated Alien day. Next year, I'm going to keep the kids out of school so we can binge watch all of them.  As Einstein said, school should never get in the way of an education. 

Here's my problem with Mar-a-Lago

It translates to sea to lake.  But there's no lake. There's the sea and an inter coastal waterway. It should be sea-to-inter-coastal-waterway.  Mar-a-via-Costera.

I guess it's not surprising that they mistook part of the ocean for a lake, considering they boast a 68 story Trump Tower when the building only has 58 floors.

that bugs me.

Close Encounter

So I was at the gym this morning and I swear Graham McTavish was there too.  In case you're unaware Graham McTavish was in Outlander, as well as many other things on both the big and small screen.  He also has the most beautiful beard in the history of facial hair.  So I'm looking at this guy and thinking, "Hey, that looks exactly like Graham McTavish." and I remember that we got a flyer about the Scottish Games which are this weekend and he's scheduled to be there so this could totally be him.
At this point I start to hear John in my head. <No, that is totally not him.>
He walks over to the day lockers and begins putting some things inside one. Now he's closer to me so I have a better look. He doesn't look as big as he was in Outlander but everything looks bigger on T.V. so that stands to reason.
<nope. there is no reason in any of this.>
 Oh, hush.
Meanwhile he's gone upstairs and is stretching.  I'm wondering how tall he is so I walk over to the day lockers to see how tall I am standing next to them.  Well, he's at least 6 inches taller than me so this is really starting to go in my favor.
<nothing is in your favor>
Shush!
I finish up my workout and wander over to some chairs that have a good view of Graham, because I'm now convinced it is Graham, and watch him work out for a while.  Maybe someone will come join him and maybe it'll be someone else from Outlander. This could totally happen.
<no, no it can't>
By now I figured I've spent enough time casually <snort> staring at him, so I turn and leave.  First thing when I get to my car, I look up the Scottish Games and find out that they are being held......in four months. Not this weekend. Labor day weekend. Huh, I guess it wasn't him.
<I told y>
Don't start. He looked just like him.  And he had that beautiful beard.
Now some poor guy is going to get home tonight and have to double check all doors and windows before going to bed because some crazy lady at the gym was staring and acting sketchy.

It's just like the time I saw Anna Kendrick at Tahoe.
<that was not Anna Kendrick>
Yes, it was! Jeez, you're such a buzz kill.

I've created a monster

John, "Did we get a package from the Gap?"
Me, "Nothing came today."
John, "I ordered shorts for Tom and I."
Me, "Cool, how many pairs?"
Sam, "One. He ordered one. They're going to share it."

Smart ass.

That fly's on your payroll, isn't it?

So this last weekend there was this big fly looping around the room.  John was standing next to the back door.

Me, "Open the door!"
John, "What?"
Me, "Can't you see that huge fly? Open the door!"
John, "It's not going to just fly out the door."
Me, "It's looping around the room and heading to the door.  Open it!"
John, "It's a fly, it doesn't know where...."
Me, "Open the door!"
John opened the door and the fly shot straight outside.
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John, "That fly is an asshole."

This should get me into heaven...

So at this week's old lady meeting, after the discussion of the delivery time of mail in town and before the recap of who did and did not attend last year's whatever event, one old gal brought up her concern that she was not receiving the newsletter emails.  I was sitting next to the gal who handles the newsletter. She was younger than me so I was apt to believe anything she said in regards to anything computer related.  So old gal says, "I'm not getting the newsletter."  Computer gal leans over to me and whispers, "Yes, she is. The email was opened." Now what a lot of folks don't realize is that the system admin can see not only if an email has been opened and how long it was left opened.  Some might get paranoid when they hear that until they remember that no one is bored enough to actually check unless there's a problem.
Anyway, old gal is going on about how she doesn't get the newsletter emails. She gets all the other emails. She doesn't have problems getting emails from anyone else. She even gets emails from <whispering> porn sites.
What I didn't say was, "If you are getting emails from porn sites it's because someone in your household, with limited Internet experience, (i.e. not a grandchild) is giving your email address to the porn site.  The porn site did not stumble upon your home email nor can a porn site 'figure out' your home email address if someone accidentally stumbles upon the site. I can state this categorically because I live with three males over the age of 15 and I don't get porn emails at my home email address.  Sweetheart, your husband is a porn-hound."
But I didn't say that. Because I have a heart of fucking gold.
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And because I'd already pissed her off by trying to help solve her committee problem without realizing that she DID NOT NEED HELP WITH THE PROBLEM BECAUSE I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.   Jeez-Louise, if you know what the problem is, why have you been talking for the last 20 minutes?
I related this story to John and he said, "Look at it this way, you, and anyone else your age, are the Men in the group. They want to talk and you want to solve the problem and move on."
Me, "ooooohhhh. so it's like show-and-tell." Maybe this will help with next week's meeting......

Happy Easter

This year rather than hiding eggs, I'm going to have the boys hunt for charging cables.  There must be 50 in this house and, dammit, we're going to find them.