I got in on the act too

My Meme

The Art of the Meme

Sam got a new app for making meme's.  Here is a sample of his handiwork

Well great...

Now I'm going to spend half the day testing the school district's email system to see what words it will or will not let me send.

And why "porn"?  The word itself is not inappropriate.  That's what the message said, "Oops, you have used an inappropriate word." Shouldn't it have checked the link?  It's not like someone is going to type, "Hey Roxie, here's that porn I was telling you about."

And if they are that stupid, shouldn't we use it as a way to catch them?

And who decides?

Why is an inanimate object passing moral judgement on me? Who does it think it is?

There goes my whole day.....

Not Your Typical Email to School

I had to send this to Sam's teacher this morning:

Ms. Johnson,

So here's the thing, I was "helping" Sam with his homework.  He needed to email his song to you and he wasn't sure how to attach the file.  His file was on the desktop and when I tried to import it, I was said that if I was using a Mac, I needed to add an extension.  Well, I didn't know what that meant so I found a link on-line and imported that one.  On the ride to school this morning Sam was very concerned about the link.

Sam, "What if it's inappropriate?" 

Me, "Didn't you watch it? Why would you use a link that you didn't watch first?"
Sam, "I watched mine but you sent a different link."
Me, "I did?"
Sam, "Yes!"

So now I'm in the car thinking, "Oh crap, did I send p**n to Ms. Johnson?"  Which, honestly, is the worst thought I could be having because actually sending p**n to someone isn't half as bad as not knowing if you sent p**n to someone. You know what I mean?

So I told him, "Well, tell her I did it and I'm old enough to be her mother and can her mother do this?"
At which point Tom piped up, "MOM, you're not old enough to be her mother!"
Me, "Yes, I am and it wouldn't have even been a scandal...."
Sam, "MOM!"

He was really freaking out at that point so I asked him if he wanted me to send an email to you and he said "yes".  This is that email.  It's probably not even necessary because, let's face it, the odds of the link working are pretty slim.

So that was my morning, how was yours?
Jennifer Moore

ps.  It wouldn't let me spell out p-o-r-n so I had to use stars.  I'm sure you figured that out. Just wanted to let you know I'm not one of those silly moms who says, "fudge" and "sugar".  I really don't get those people.

First Track Meet

Me, "Tom! You won your heat! That's awesome!!"

Tom, "Only cause that other guy fell."

Me, "A win's, a win, kid."

From the mouth of babes

So Sam has a tendency to lose things.  For a while it was lunch boxes.  Lately it's been coats.  He's lost so many coats that now he has to buy his own.  When he lost the last coat that we had bought for him, I took him to Target.  He found a zip-up hoodie that he really like until he looked at the price tag.  "I'm not paying $19.99 for a coat!"

But he did. And he lost it. He really didn't want to tell me but it all came pouring out this morning.

Sam, "We were in gym and I had it tied around my waist but I was getting hot so I put in on the bench but I forgot about it and went into the locker room and changed and then when I remembered it I tried to get back in the gym but Mr. Munson wouldn't let me so I checked in the locker room lost-and-found during lunch but it wasn't there so I checked the regular lost-and-found and it wasn't there either and now it's been so long I'm afraid that it's gone forever."

Me, "You can check again today."

Sam, "You know, losing something isn't the same as not being able to find it."

You know, he's right.

Things I read on the Internet and I desperately what to know if they're true

1. You constantly see your nose but your brain chooses to ignore it
2. When you cry, the first tear comes from your right eye if it's happiness, from the left eye if it's sorrow
3. There are at least 6 people in the world that look exactly like you
4. 80% of families did not buy or read a book in the last year
5. When you blush, your stomach blushes too.  (How would they know this?)
6. There are only 700 wild mountain gorillas
7. You can break your iris
8. You have neutrinos in your body from the beginning of the universe
9. Honey will stay fresh for over 3,000 years
10. Cheese is the most shoplifted food

really?

I've seen a lot of roadkill,

But that is one flat squirrel...

And with his dying breath, he raised his tail as a warning to others.

Happy Mother's Day

Saturday morning:

Me, "I think we should have a Mother's Day Weekend."

John, "Why?"

Me, "Because one day is not enough to celebrate all of this."

John walks out of the room laughing.

Me, "Is that a yes??"

White Dog Problems

Alice typically drives with me while I drop the boys at school.  This morning John's car was in the shop so after dropping the boys, I dropped John at the office.  This was a whole new adventure and Alice was very, very excited to be a part of it.  As John was getting his briefcase out of the way-back, Alice jumped back there to wag her tag, watch him and shed as much as possible.  John closed the back door and I drove off.  Then the crying started.

Alice, "wwhhiinnee"
Alice, "wwwwhhhhiiiinnnneee"
Alice, "wwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh"
Alice, "I'm ssstttttuuuccckkkkk"

She's back there and like Thor with an I-Pod, has no idea what to do.

Alice, "hhhhhhheeeeeellllllppppppp"
Alice, "I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I'm stuck."

Me, "Alice, come."
Alice, "hhhheeellllppppp"
Me, "Alice, come."
Alice, "wwwwaaahhhhh"

She was sliding around on the rubberized floor.  I could occasionally see ears.  Sometimes a whole head.  Lots of crying......

Me, "Alice, you're okay."
Alice, "No, I'm not. I'm not okay. I'm not okay. I'm not okay."
Me, "Alice, you're okay."
Alice, "Noooooo.  I'm the opposite of okay. I'm....I'm.....I'm un-okay."
Me, "Alice, you're okay."
Alice, "LIES!!"

And she continued to cry until we arrived at the gym and I freed her.

hhheeeellllppp!!!!

It was all far more traumatic then the time she brought her huge rawhide with her and couldn't jump into the front seat and keep the bone in her mouth at the same time.  Boy, that was a tough morning.

So it's 2:30 am and

Alice starts retching in her kennel.  John flies out of bed, picks up Abbey and throws her out the door.

Me,  "That's the wrong dog."

John, "I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING!! TURN ON A LIGHT!! 

I roll out of bed, open Alice's crate and pull out the offending blanket.  Then turn on the light.

John, "WHAT DO I DO?? TELL ME WHAT TO DO??"

Me, "I got it."

John, "DO WE NEED TO DO LAUNDRY??"

Me, "No, I pulled out the dirty blanket. We'll deal with it in the morning."

John, "Okay."

Me, "Are you going to let Abbey inside?"

John, "Right.  Okay.  Yeah."

Abbey comes trotting inside, hackles raised to the sky, looks at us as if to say, "What the hell just happened?!?" then lays down on her pillow.

I turn off the light, we crawl back into bed and get the giggles.

Me, "holy shit, what was that?"

John, "I don't know.  Shut up."

Me, "What were you dreaming about?"

John, 'I don't know but it ended with retching."

And I had just pinned this the day before:

Considering what she eats, it's really no wonder....

Things Alice has Eaten

1. plush dog toys
2. rubber dog toys
3. tennis balls
4. pencils
5. legos
6. dirty kleenex
7. grass
8. ivy
9. thyme
10. rosemary
11. sage  (Alice, get out of the herb garden!)
12. pillows
13. blankets
14. afghans
15. her dog bed
16. Abbey's dog bed
17. the new dog bed (fine, now you can sleep on the cold, hard plastic)
18. slippers
19. shoes
20. a wool area rug
21. the furminator 
22. the pile of hair from the furminator (aw, man, that's gross)
23. phlegm that's been spit onto the sidewalk
24. poo
25. and whatever the hell this is:

No wonder she smells like a goat

That's one way to advertise your church

Game of Thrones Link

I saw this on The Bloggess' website.  If you haven't read her blog, she's hilarious and you are a loser.

here's a link to a Game of Thrones Spoof:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Krz-dyD-UQ&feature=youtu.be

I laughed and laughed.